The Epic from HELL

So a lot of y'all were at the trade show over the past weekend and know it was tons of fun...the only downside to such a good weekend is that it was a TEEERRRRIIIBBBLLLEEE epic for me. Where to begin....falling off of projects past the cruxes....misplacing absolutly everything you don't lose on a road trip...ok ok, its friday the 25th. I accidently locked my keys in my car before qualifiers at the momentum comp. By the time I realized this I was forced to wait for five hours which I either spent arguing with AAA to come unlock my car or just basquing in the moments of agony. After this length of time was when I found out that mall security, the gym was next to a mall, can break into cars for you for free!! They didn't even ask for ID, which is good because the previously during the trip I lost my wallet, drivers liscence, and check card all on seperate occasions. The next 24 hours were surprisingly enjoyable whether at the show, competing in finals, or at the after party. But, last sunday brought yet another rude awakening to reality. So here I am almost a 1000 miles from Dallas, from which I drove, with no drivers liscence, no cash, and no credit card!!! I spend most of this day pilliging through my car looking for my card, until admitting defeat. The rest of my determination was then set on getting a money order for gas money for the 23 hour drive I had to complete. Monday morning brought the news that at any Western Union awaits $300 cash to get home. ALRIGHT, I venture off into the snow storm that had swallowed Salt Lake City looking for a street with the adress 767. after arriving where the building should be, I trek in my sanuks with no socks in nearly 12 inches of snow, with flurries of snow to blur my vision, for nearly twenty minutes going from door to door, building to building searching for my destination. Once again, I admit defeat and return to the car only to then notice that the adress is 676! This time I find the store with ease, but fate would not let me off that easy. The Western Union guy had stepped out and we had no idea when he would return. So back to the house to find yet another location, and soon enough, I had what I set out for, GAS MONEY!!! ready to simply drive off into the sunset, I am once again denied. The snow storm resulted in closed roads all across Utah, and I was forced to stay yet another night. teusday morning marked the begining of my voyage home, when it should have been the end of my drive until all the delays were in affect. I make the solid 14 hour trek alone in my '95 forest green Nissan Pathfinder, but due to 18 wheelers kicking up snow slush during the drive its a tint of black, brown, and dirty white. At 1 AM I stop near Hueco Tanks to spend the night. Once again I am off the next morning feeling determined to finish the drive. All of a sudden I get too comfortable on the road and try to shave some hours off when I am stopped by a cop going 82 in a 70. I took it ok, in fact me and the cop chatted a bit about climbing, a slightly awkward conversation due to him handing me a ticket sining to the tune of $180. "OK OK, I have had some slip ups" I told myself, "but lets just finish it up and get home". I started my engine, prepared to take off. It was almost as if the screeching was a voice taunting me with the fact that some divine force just didn't want me to finish the trip. I turn the car off and lose my composure to say the least. Five minutes later, and to many obcenities to count I try it again and to my surprise nothing sounds wrong, and all looks well, so I just take off before the opportunity for another mishap comes across my path. 150 miles later, only 2 hours away from my front porch, I notice I need gas and realize that my battery light is shining bright, and has probably been on since the run in with the 5-0. After filling up, I attempt to jump start the car, since it obviously didn't turn on, and IT WORKED. I didn't ask questions, I was too close to home to let something happen again...well less than a mile down the road I am stopped in my tracks again. AAA sends out a tow-truck and another 45 minutes later I am sitting shotgun while the mechanic explains how my alternator has seen the end of its days and that after 100 miles of towing the price goes from free...to $2.85 per mile. Easy enough, my dad gladly comes to meet us as we just leave the car in a grocery store parking lot. we decide to figure it out tomorrow and 20 minutes later I am in a bed for the first time in a month while my dreams carried me off to a far away place where people always send what they are passionate about, nothing ever gets lost, cars cannot lock keys inside, there is no speed limit, and alternators never die.
Well its thursday night now, and on saturday morning I leave for Barcelona to start a new climbing epic in Europe. Lets just not hope that the past month hasn't been a forshadowing prelude to my 5 month Euro-Epic!!!!